The Paradox of Contentment

Remember how I was talking about feeling discontent and a little like a heretic when I mentioned it to my friends? It happened again last night.

This is a different group of friends--mostly a little older than me. They attend my church. We are in a Small Group Bible Study (we're finishing up John MacArthur's Twelve Ordinary Men).

After discussion of this week's chapter, we went around the room to talk about prayer requests. Now, I don't know about you, but Prayer Request Time can be intimidating. I think this is for several reasons: 1, because it's hard to be vulnerable. If you open yourself up to what you really need prayer about, people will see your weaknesses. 2, it's opposed. The last thing the Enemy wants is for us to be genuine with each other and take it to the Lord in prayer.

I was the last one in the circle. I was thisclose to following in everyone else's footsteps and shrugging off my needs. But one of the things I'm so grateful for is this group where everyone will look at me and say, "Do you have anything we can pray for?" Sometimes it gets tiring to ask people to pray for the same kind of thing over and over. But I honestly think one of the worst things we do as Christians is pretend we're okay.

There is a Lie, a pernicious lie as Dr. Del Tracker (of The Truth Project) would say. It goes like this: You're the only one struggling with this. Don't tell anyone about it. They'll see how bad of a Christian you are. You'll bring everybody else down. Just keep it to yourself. You're on your own.

I don't want to listen to that lie. So, I took a risk and told the truth. I'm not doing all that well, as I said earlier. I'm struggling. Financially, Spiritually, even Physically. My attitude has been crap lately. I'm trying to figure out what my next steps are, what God wants me to do. Well, I didn't put it quite that well to my group; nonetheless, several of my friends piped up immediately and admitted that they were struggling, too.

Then something interesting happened. A couple others in our group launched into something almost like a lecture on contentment. Now, I know these folks meant well. And I certainly understand the points made. It's true that we are called to be content no matter what our circumstances are, and that whatever our stage of life is, we can find things to complain about.

This is the paradox of contentment: we are supposed to find contentment no matter how bad life is, yet we are never supposed to be fully comfortable here in this life. We are told to be joyful always, think on the good things, praise God in every circumstance. Yet balancing those words out are huge sections of scripture--in some cases, whole books--dedicated to lament and struggle. God knows we will wrestle--in fact, those who were closest to Him are often portrayed as having faith, but still struggling.

This is just another example to me of how the Christian life is one of Balance, and how things are not as simple as they are often painted.

Our tendency as a Church to want to "fix" people, or offer good advice and bible verses when people are truly wrestling and hurting has become a handicap. God is the one who heals, and He does it differently in different people. To assume that we know exactly how He works seems arrogant, to me.

For me, it's not as simple as wearing a smiley face pin or playing happy Jesus music. That doesn't fix the problem. And I certainly can't will myself to be content. But I know that God is working on me, and continually reminds me that He's taking care of me.

While that may bring a kind of contentment, that still doesn't change the fact that I need a new job, and I don't know what it will be. Though I do believe He will provide it. But I'll still wrestle when I get in my car and see how little gas I have. *Sigh.* Yet, how can I tell others that God provides, if I've never been in a situation where I desperately needed Him to come through for me?


PS: Sara, I'm still looking forward to your brilliant post about Truth.