Community and Contentment

Tonight Bekah and I went to the Open Door church. It's this somewhat emergent community down in East Liberty. I've visited it before once or twice, but never went regularly a) because it's downtown, and b) because I was already pretty committed to CW.

I need to confess something: I haven't been to church very much lately. I don't know why. Every Sunday I think, I should get my a** out of bed and go to church...and then I roll over and go back to sleep. I can't explain this laziness.

I have not been back to a service at MPC since my job ended there, so maybe that's part of it. It's like, i just don't feel like I fit anywhere now. I don't really have a church community. It's weird, and I think avoiding visiting other churches keeps me from feeling so displaced.

But I went tonight, and I really liked it. And the message...it was one of those times when it was just what I needed to hear. BJ, the pastor, spoke on the end of Phillipians, including that ubiquitously christian phrase, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." It's the passage where Paul talks about having contentment, no matter what the circumstances.

I usually hear that or read it and feel guilty. Because I am not very content, especially right now. I'm trying to figure out where it is God wants me. And I can't see it. It makes me very frustrated sometimes, because I feel like I should have it at least somewhat figured out by this point. But I don't; and I keep trying to trust that God has a plan and will show me step by step. I'm not exactly content during the process. I want to be. I wish I was. So, guilt.

But right about this point, this pastor says part of Paul's secret to contentment is tied up in his fellowship with the Phillipians. Contextually, in the passage, Paul just got done raving about how faithful the church of Phillipi has been to him--when no one else has. So BJ said that part of Paul's contentment came from having his needs met by that community.

Now, I've been a Christian...basically my whole life. I've never heard the text interpreted this way, and I was just stunned. He went on to say Paul also had the strength of Christ, as in that oft-quoted verse...but even the way he talked about that made it seem like this beautful, mystical thing--not just some factoid to be applied to daily living.

It just took me by surprise, how the importance of community was so strongly woven into the message. I think most Christans read that and instead focus on the idea that if I grit my teeth and remember that Christ is my strength, I can get through anything. On my own.

The truth is, if it weren't for the interchurch fellowship I've developed here, I'd be a lot worse off. They are the only thing (well, family, too, mostly) that keeps me even remotely content here. And in fact, they have been my "church"...even when I haven't set foot inside a building.

Thank God for my anamchara community.