Wrestling

Been something of an insomniac lately. For some reason, like a child who thinks she'll miss out on all the fun, my body just doesn't want to go to sleep. I'm sure there's an explanation somewhere, and some kind of remedy, but I haven't discovered them yet. For now, I've been trying sleep aid pills...not something I really want to do, though. I tried melatonin last night, and that didn't help. I need to be knocked out for my body to surrender.

So last night, as I tried to sleep, my gaze fell on a book resting on my nightstand. "A Generous Orthodoxy." Hm, I thought. Perhaps some wordy theology might tire me. My first mistake. I picked it up and began reading, and found myself instead drawn in, my mind working even more.

Today I am tired, but restless. I have this tendency to overthink things as I hash my way through them. When I first picked up AGO, I wasn't sure I entirely liked it, or entirely agreed with it. But what I read last night (about post-protestantism and being post-liberal-and -conservative) really resonated with me. This morning I was reading about poetry and mysticism. And I've decided this book will make it onto my shelf of Books That Changed My Life.

What I'm frustrated by, perpetually, is the attitude of so many Christians towards thinkers like McLaren and Rob Bell. Today I was looking at a mutual friend's facebook page, and she had a virtual bookshelf, with virtual books she is reading and wants to read. They had provocative titles which lead me to their amazon.com pages. Most of them had to do with the Emerging Church, but as critiques. I read several reviews of each one.

There is something about the conversation that almost gives me hope, but mixed in were too many negative depictions of the emergent movement. I just feel like if the three of us were any kind of cross section of the Emergent Church, a lot of their arguments would be obsolete. I don't throw out truth, I haven't given up on the Bible. I just recognize a lot more gray areas than I used to. I let myself wrestle honestly with God and Scripture, all the while feeling pretty secure that God can handle it, and will continue to guide me.

If nothing else, my foray today just reinforces the idea that people like us need to continue to participate in the conversation. We all know, and are related to, people who think that the emerging church is actually a bunch of apostate heretics who have abandoned the bible. While I know that speaking up and out will initially just draw criticism, I can only hope that people like us can ultimately contribute to something larger. I felt hopeful last night, as I read McLaren's words about a post-protestant world. I would like to be a part of that kind of world, where we don't focus so much on what makes us different, but what we have in common. So much of what I read last night echoed what I'd just read in "The Celtic Way of Evangelism." (So I'm going to plug that again!)

What do you guys think? Is there hope for Christianity to be less divided in coming generations? What do you think we can do to help?